THE ART OF BIRTHING
Together with Hati, my pregnancy was an incredible journey that culminated in a beautifully paced, confident, graceful, natural birth. She supported throughout the journey, understood intricacies of my character, and found a very personal approach. With just few words she'd calm the storm and set me straight for smooth sailing, the journaling, and the work with did with her set the framework for my thoughts and intentions, thought me how to tackle my anxieties and see the priorities. Hati constantly adjusts the lensed that I looked at the world and my pregnancy, she did it over and over again until I could do it myself. The journey we took together prepared me for so much more than just my son's birth, it is the perspective on life, womanhood, parenthood, and relationship with others through relationship with oneself that she helped me see.
I feared giving birth all my life, I thought of birthing experience as something excruciatingly painful and terrifyingly inevitable that every woman who wanted to have kids had to go through. Why all on us? - I used to ask myself, - giving birth, having periods? By now I've learnt to honor my cycle and have one beautiful birthing experience that I'm proud of and excited to share with anyone who is open to listen.
When I shared what kind of birth I was preparing for, what kind of work I was doing with my coach, many remained sceptical, especially those who had given birth already. Some sighed with sympathy and compassion envisioning for me my birthing experience based on theirs, others, seemed to have shaken their heads as I've looked away thinking I didn't know what I was getting into. Even doctors. Their inaudible sign transmitted: trust me honey, you'll end up having an epidural. Some doctors would openly suggest to "just get it" without realizing that the birth I wanted was so much more than just avoiding an epidural! By the end of my pregnancy, I had to change the healthcare provider to the one that was ready to ensure the birth we were preparing for.
There were also women who haven't given birth yet that cringed with fear and phantom pain down their belly while listening to me rambling about oxytocin and waves that I'll be surfing when giving birth. I was that woman too before, one with phantom pain and shivers at the thought of giving birth, but I've went through a miraculous transformation.
A lot of work has been done to strip off everything irrelevant, noise, opinions, fears, doubts, “what Is”s, prejudices, other people's experiences. I had to learn how to connect with myself deeply and intimately, I had to "meet” every cell of my body, every vertebra and sit with it because during birth it is you, your body, and your baby that work together in unison.
As a result, Leo came into life, so aware, so present, so interested, a curious, calm and happy little man.
I will never forget our last call with Hati right before I dived so deep into myself, I lost track of time and space, I've shut down from the world and went surfing for 9 hours welcoming each powerful wave, one at a time, just like we've trained.
Liya